Upholsterers are very unique people. They tend to have a gift for seeing the finer details in life. They can usually find a creative way to fix anything. Many of them work from home, and live the Upholstery Life. Do you think you may be living the upholstery life? Here are the top signs to find out!
1. You are proud of your scars
While other people are embracing tattoos to show off their unique identity, you only need to roll up your sleeves to exhibit the path you’ve chosen and demonstrate who you are deep down. You have scars to show off instead! Upholsterers work every day with the most deadly of tools. Electric foam cutters, razor blades, pneumatic nailers, bear claw webbing stretchers, not to mention the jagged ends of sheared metal sticking out of every corner of a stripped down chair. Don’t forget your tetanus shot! This job is dangerous, and is not for those who want to keep their nails beautifully manicured. And about that…
2. Your hands look (and feel)…used.
When you work with your hands every day, they are going to start showing some wear. Embrace it! Own it. Go shopping with your nails full of wood stain (as if you have a choice). Get a t-shirt that says “dirty hands make clean money”. Trades people may not be as well respected as white collar workers, but let me tell you something profoundly true: the average person will enjoy meeting with you infinitely more than they enjoy meeting with their lawyer or their doctor. They trust you a lot more than their local politician or banker. I’m proud of my working hands! And, I’ve personally found that a tens machine works wonders to ease my sore hands after a long day. It feels weird at first, but it’s a miracle for instant pain relief.
3. You have to empty your shoes quite often (IYKYK)
Other people need to use a step counter to see how many steps they’ve taken in a day. You only need to look at the bottom of your shoes. Tacks and staples fall on the floor, it’s a fact. They get absorbed into any footwear you happen to have on. Keeping a clean work area helps immensely, but you better get used to pulling tacks from your feet a few times a day. You can use regular staple remover tools to do the job.
4. You are on a first name basis with your Garbage Collector
Extra landfill is an unfortunate consequence of upholstery. The upside is that the waste from one stripped chair is much less than if the chair itself went into the landfill. Nevertheless, you get excited about garbage day. My favourite crew to see every week is the sanitation engineers rolling down the street in their road-hogging rig. The noise from the Diesel engine and hydraulic lift can be heard from all the way down the street, and nothing gets me jumping out of bed faster than that noise on mornings when I’ve somehow forgotten to get my bags to the curb. The adrenaline rush! What a way to start the day!
5. You have a ‘little extra’ furniture around
Like, maybe a whole basement full. Stacked. To the ceiling. You see the potential of worn out chairs and collect them with great gusto. You get calls from strangers asking if they can give you their granny’s mid century sofa. You brag about your stash – you’re shameless! You’ll get no judgement here.
6. You don’t get invited to parties
Since we’re on the topic of judgement, I will tell you the great number of people who are ashamed of their furniture. They are embarrassed because the dog peed on it. They spray it with all kinds of fragrances because their teenagers put their dirty socks all over it. They especially don’t want you to know they bought it at Costco. You already knew, of course, because you saw the peeling vinyl. Go ahead and admit it – you are a furniture snob and your friends know it. They know that you know that their furniture needs a rehaul (or boot to the curb). Just be glad they’re not asking you to recover their peeling vinyl Costco furniture! You’ve got quality furniture to take care of!
7. You have a big car
You have a need for hauling. You look at every vehicle in terms of “yeah, but will it fit a sofa?” You don’t want a boring old minivan. You’re yearning for something with style and originality. Something that stands out and screams out down the highway how unique you are! But heck, you’ll definitely take the minivan. Because, you know…it fits a sofa.
8. You get reports from neighbours if you’re away
You’re away from home and you get a text from your neighbour. It’s not to report someone taking your stuff – rather it’s to report someone leaving furniture at your house. Don’t worry, after some time, your neighbours will get used to this.
9. You have unique storage solutions
You’ve found that you can store your business-related things in unusual places. And you need to use any space that can be used for storage. Fabric rolls take up a bunch of space as do those fabric sample books, and if you work from home, your space is at a premium. Nooks and crannies, behind doors, your children’s closet (their clothes are always on the floor anyway), kitchen cupboards…
10. You named your firstborn Juki
Or at the very least, you use it as a pet name. A term of endearment. Who doesn’t love their Juki?
See what happens when I try to have a sense of humour?
Hmm, maybe that’s the reason I don’t get invited to parties. 🤔
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